Sunday Stories - articles, books, podcasts - those I am intrigued by and how they relate to me.
There were so many thoughts in my head as I listened to the latest Unlocking Us podcast from Brene Brown as she talks with the Drs. Gottman about their work, via the Gottman Institute, about what makes loving relationships last. Out loud in my kitchen, more than once to myself, I said “Yes. This is how to nurture.” Yes there is discussion of the Four Horseman of the (relationship) Apocalypse - criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling - as well as possible antidotes to reverse the shadows impeding a relationship.
The word that remained with me the most is - cherish. To cherish yourself, your partner, and your relationship as the foundation of health, stability, and growth. Every day, especially the tough days when my best self has vacated the building, and D still kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me before we fall asleep, is a good day. I will think about this podcast, and likely my future reading of the Gottmans’ work, as I cherish D and our relationship.
A line from one of the many hits of The Beatles “In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.” was offered at the end of the episode as a part of the mixed tape of Dr. John Gottman’s point of view. But I think of another lyric from The Beatles too: “All you need is love….Love is all you need.”
It is that simple, but takes consistent attention and intention. I have much to learn - and am deeply grateful to have a partner willing to learn right along with me.